u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
