I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
