You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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