girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
