cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
