just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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