I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
