cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize