I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
