The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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