I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
