Dual....:-)
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
