I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize