you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
