even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
