Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Let's paint friendship bongs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
