and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The ass gains better be worth it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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