I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I still have a little drunk in my system
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
