My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
