I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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