Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
