no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
