We got so high we made milksteak
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
