Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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