Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
