East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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