After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize