you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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