so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
