even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
this will be a night to untag.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize