He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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