i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
