Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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