Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
