he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
