I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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