the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
