worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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