Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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