i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
