haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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