You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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