its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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