Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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