ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
