I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You're a waste of cheezeits
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
