He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
