May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
