I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I need moral support for this bender
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
