Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
