I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
