Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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