they need to just BURY HIM!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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