Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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