im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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