he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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