I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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