The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
