So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
