so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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