so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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