Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
