You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
