idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
