I'm jealous of your bromance
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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