Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
