He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
