Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
