New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Randomize
