i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My vagina just clenched in fear
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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